Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize