This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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