Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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