I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I smell stomach acid.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize