and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
