I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Randomize
