I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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