Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize