i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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