So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize