My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
