Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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