It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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