my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize