dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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