when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize