If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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