so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
nutella sex= disaster
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?