i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight