Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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