I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.