The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED