Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?