Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell