Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize