she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
