just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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