I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
My dick has a subreddit
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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