The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I looked at my own cervix.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga