your parents love me but you hate me
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You can't just leave with hair like that
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does