I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"