he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
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I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
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You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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