You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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