Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize