with your own penis?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
