You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
this boner is exhausting
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
