Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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