Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
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Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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