Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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