Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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