Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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