Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches