drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Dating After Heartbreak
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.