I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
ra ra ra ah ah
sexting lady gaga style
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT