Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
where am i from again
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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