im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
