Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
