i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize