I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize