Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
