he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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