Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys