My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
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I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
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It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.