I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
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No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
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we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?