I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
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You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
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Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?