How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.