She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
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When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.