I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.