i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...