I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
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I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
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It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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