Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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