I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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