Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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