if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
