She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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